My 40th year I rebelled again. In the most dramatic way. I fight against all the oppressors I saw in my local world - the police, my drug and alcohol relapsing sister, the local government and local politicians. I rebelled aunts corporate America and the capitalist system that was devouring us all.
Stay tuned to Evolving Yina
My 40th year where I ran for Congress, was arrested, dominated local Coachella Valley Social Media lenses, and where I became pregnant again with a baby boy 20 years after my first rebellion with the same outcome.
Friday, May 15, 2020
My second coming - What I’ve learned at 40
Part 1
I’ve learned...
Dogmas and Doctrines color your life because they are your lens and receptors and parameters of analysis and understanding of the world.
It’s taken me 20 years to learn another way of seeing the world from the foundations of my first 20 years.
I followed all the rules and excelled from age 5- 19. I was it. I taught myself to read and was a mathematical wiz at a young age. I won so many academic, social, and physical achievement awards. I was accepted to every college I applied to. The world was mine and I was “spiritually pure” según - a devout Jehovah Witness - the religion I inherited from my late father and the way I honored him in life. It served to guide me and my relationship with Jehovah and the congregation provided the fatherly and family love and unity I lacked. My first 2 years at UC Berkeley, I was an oxymoron that was becoming politically aware and politically active while I was supposed to be “no part of this world” undergoing the strict rituals of becoming baptized formally as a Jehovah’s Witness - a journey that takes years for many.
I was finally baptized May 1999 in Mountain View California at 19 years old and then went to a month long study abroad program in Cuba where I met so many in clandestine Jehovah Witnesses. I came back to California to the news that JFK Jr and his pregnant newly wed wife disappeared over the Atlantic.
—-> being home and seeing the difficult patterns my family was in and the somber late summer- I fell into a depression. I took my Fall 1999 semester off and dealt with suicidal tendencies of a family member - until I finally rebelled against it all. I wanted to escape my reality and now 20, I went to Cuba on a medicine mission before my semester abroad in Brazil. That three day trip to Cuba in 12/27/99 turned into a 10 day escapade where I rang in the new year with a hurricane love. I fell for a smooth-talking caramel skinned emerald eyed Cuban heart hustler - and I was never so happy in my life before - never having been in love. The whole world was so exciting exploring all of La Habana until daybreak and he was lucky to have been given money from some tourists that he splurged on me. I saw my whole life in a simple hut on a Cuban shore where he cooked me the most delicious food and I was loved and marveled at and praised all day.
It was a Beautiful Fairy Tale Fantasy that was fueled by Hollywood Movies like Chayanne’s and Vanessa Williams’ ‘Dance with Me’ and my fascination with Cuba due to my studies at UC Berkeley and my curiosity of the Caribbean Latin Lover.
My devotion to this man was unbecoming throughout the years but my life next to the lovechild of this relationship - my 19 year old son Carlo- has been God’s greatest gift to me. It has been my son that has saved me these last 20 years from so much disenchantment throughout my awakening of the falseness of this world.
I’ve learned...
Dogmas and Doctrines color your life because they are your lens and receptors and parameters of analysis and understanding of the world.
It’s taken me 20 years to learn another way of seeing the world from the foundations of my first 20 years.
I followed all the rules and excelled from age 5- 19. I was it. I taught myself to read and was a mathematical wiz at a young age. I won so many academic, social, and physical achievement awards. I was accepted to every college I applied to. The world was mine and I was “spiritually pure” según - a devout Jehovah Witness - the religion I inherited from my late father and the way I honored him in life. It served to guide me and my relationship with Jehovah and the congregation provided the fatherly and family love and unity I lacked. My first 2 years at UC Berkeley, I was an oxymoron that was becoming politically aware and politically active while I was supposed to be “no part of this world” undergoing the strict rituals of becoming baptized formally as a Jehovah’s Witness - a journey that takes years for many.
I was finally baptized May 1999 in Mountain View California at 19 years old and then went to a month long study abroad program in Cuba where I met so many in clandestine Jehovah Witnesses. I came back to California to the news that JFK Jr and his pregnant newly wed wife disappeared over the Atlantic.
—-> being home and seeing the difficult patterns my family was in and the somber late summer- I fell into a depression. I took my Fall 1999 semester off and dealt with suicidal tendencies of a family member - until I finally rebelled against it all. I wanted to escape my reality and now 20, I went to Cuba on a medicine mission before my semester abroad in Brazil. That three day trip to Cuba in 12/27/99 turned into a 10 day escapade where I rang in the new year with a hurricane love. I fell for a smooth-talking caramel skinned emerald eyed Cuban heart hustler - and I was never so happy in my life before - never having been in love. The whole world was so exciting exploring all of La Habana until daybreak and he was lucky to have been given money from some tourists that he splurged on me. I saw my whole life in a simple hut on a Cuban shore where he cooked me the most delicious food and I was loved and marveled at and praised all day.
It was a Beautiful Fairy Tale Fantasy that was fueled by Hollywood Movies like Chayanne’s and Vanessa Williams’ ‘Dance with Me’ and my fascination with Cuba due to my studies at UC Berkeley and my curiosity of the Caribbean Latin Lover.
My devotion to this man was unbecoming throughout the years but my life next to the lovechild of this relationship - my 19 year old son Carlo- has been God’s greatest gift to me. It has been my son that has saved me these last 20 years from so much disenchantment throughout my awakening of the falseness of this world.
La Cuarentona- My second coming of age - 40
Arcata, Ca 4:01 am 5/15/20
Etapas
20 años engañada
40 años vi la vida tal como es
Furia...
Fuego llamas encendidas
Entro de nuevo ...
Circunstancias similares
—-> En el año 2000 Embarazada
——> En el años 2020 Embarazada
Que camino, que Visión
Como quiero guiar esta nueva etapa
~~~~ OJOS ABIERTOS ~~~~~~
Después de tanta tradición y desengaño
******* ahora puedo verlo todo ********
La inocencia y orgullo y creencias infantiles de cuentos de hadas
Ahora que puedo ver más allá
Gracias a mis cuarenta años
Y experiencia y conocimientos y vidas que entrado
Tan agrande La Vida y tan pequeña la vemos.
El mundo es chico y tu mente es todo un universo...
20 años engañada
40 años vi la vida tal como es
Furia...
Fuego llamas encendidas
Entro de nuevo ...
Circunstancias similares
—-> En el año 2000 Embarazada
——> En el años 2020 Embarazada
Que camino, que Visión
Como quiero guiar esta nueva etapa
~~~~ OJOS ABIERTOS ~~~~~~
Después de tanta tradición y desengaño
******* ahora puedo verlo todo ********
La inocencia y orgullo y creencias infantiles de cuentos de hadas
Ahora que puedo ver más allá
Gracias a mis cuarenta años
Y experiencia y conocimientos y vidas que entrado
Tan agrande La Vida y tan pequeña la vemos.
El mundo es chico y tu mente es todo un universo...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)